Greetings, Etiquette and Social Norms

Brazilians are often described as warm and informal, and in many settings that is true. But informal does not mean without rules. There are small courtesies that people notice, and getting them right makes the first months easier. This guide covers the common ones.

Customs vary between regions, cities, generations and social settings. When in doubt, watch what the people around you do, and follow their lead.

Greetings

• Say hello to everyone. Walking into a small shop, an elevator or a waiting room, a "bom dia" or "boa tarde" is expected. Not saying it can come across as cold.
• Kisses on the cheek are common between women, and between men and women, in social settings. The number varies by region; let the other person lead.
• Handshakes are the norm in business, and between men who do not know each other well. Men who know each other often add a pat on the back.
• Use first names quickly in most settings. Older people and formal contexts may call for "o senhor" or "a senhora" (sir, madam).

Time

• Social events often start later than the stated time. Arriving exactly on time to a party at someone's home can mean you help set up.
• Business meetings and appointments generally expect punctuality, even if they start a little late.
• Doctors, government offices and flights run on the clock. Be on time.

If you are not sure, ask: "É pra chegar na hora mesmo?" (Should I really arrive on time?)

Invitations and visits

• "Passa lá em casa" (stop by my place) is often friendly rather than a fixed invitation. A specific date and time is a real invitation.
• Bring something to a dinner: a dessert, a bottle of wine, flowers. Ask the host what would help.
• Offer to help in the kitchen or with clearing.
• Leaving takes time. Goodbyes are long. Start saying them a little before you need to go.

Conversation

• People ask personal questions early: where you are from, if you are married, if you have children. It is usually friendly interest.
• Football, food, music and family are safe topics. Politics can be heated; listen more than you speak until you know people.
• Personal space is often closer than in the US, and touching an arm while talking is common.
• Speak some Portuguese, even badly. Effort is warmly received. See Survival Portuguese.

In public

• Queues are respected, with priority for older people, pregnant people, people with disabilities and people with small children.
• Beach etiquette has its own rules, from where to set up to not walking across someone's towel.
• Dress varies widely by city and setting. Watch what locals wear for work and for going out.

At the table

• Wait for the host to start eating or to say "bom apetite".
• Use cutlery for most food, including some that Americans eat with their hands.
• The bill is often split equally between friends. See Restaurant Portuguese.

Learning the rest

The best way to learn etiquette is to spend time with people and ask. A tutor can explain the unwritten rules as well as the grammar. See Learning Portuguese with online tutors.

Checklist

1. Greet people when you enter small spaces.
2. Let others lead on kisses or handshakes.
3. Arrive on time for business, a little later for parties.
4. Bring something to a dinner at someone's home.
5. Try your Portuguese, every day.

Common questions

What if I get the greeting wrong? Nobody minds. Smile and follow the other person's lead.

Is it rude to decline food? A polite "estou satisfeito" or "estou satisfeita" (I am full) is fine.

Mistakes to avoid

• Walking into a shop without a greeting. It is a small thing that people notice.
• Taking "passa lá em casa" literally. Wait for a date and time.
• Arriving empty-handed to a dinner. A small gift is expected and appreciated.
• Leaving abruptly. Allow time for goodbyes.
• Avoiding Portuguese because it is not perfect. Trying is the courtesy.
• Judging by first impressions. Warmth and directness can look different from what you are used to. Give people, and yourself, a few months.