Etiquette in Italy: greetings, meals and everyday manners

Vaughn Bullard lived and worked in Italy. This guide does not retell stories from that time. It sets out the customs an American notices on arrival, and the rules behind them where an official source states them, so you can settle in without the small missteps that mark a newcomer.

Greetings and forms of address

Italian has two ways of saying "you": the informal tu and the formal Lei. In everyday life the formal form is the default with people you do not know, with older people, in offices, in shops and with officials. The informal form is for friends, family, children and colleagues who invite it. Switching to tu too early can come across as overfamiliar, while staying with Lei is never wrong.

Greetings follow the same split. Buongiorno (good morning, used until early afternoon) and buonasera (good evening) are the polite greetings when you walk into a shop, a pharmacy, a bar or an office. Ciao is informal and best kept for people you already know. Saying a greeting when you enter and arrivederci when you leave a small shop is normal practice, and skipping it reads as rude.

Titles matter more than many Americans expect. Professionals are often addressed by title: dottore or dottoressa for university graduates and doctors, avvocato for lawyers, professore or professoressa for teachers. In offices and formal letters, using the title with the surname is the safe choice.

Among friends and acquaintances, greeting with a light kiss on each cheek is common, while a handshake is the norm in business and with people you meet for the first time. Follow the other person's lead.

Meals and the rhythm of the day

The Italian day is built around meals. In general terms:

• Breakfast is light: coffee and a pastry, often standing at a bar counter.
• Lunch is traditionally the main meal, and in many towns shops close for a midday break.
• Dinner is later than in most of the United States, especially in the south and in summer.

Restaurants keep to these hours. Arriving at a restaurant in the late afternoon expecting a full dinner menu often ends in disappointment, because kitchens open for set lunch and dinner services.

Some table customs worth knowing:

• Courses arrive in order: antipasto, primo (pasta, rice or soup), secondo (meat or fish) with contorno (vegetables), then dessert and coffee. You do not have to order every course.
• Coffee after a meal is espresso. Milky coffees are a morning habit.
• The bill rarely comes until you ask for it. Lingering at the table is normal, and asking for il conto is how you signal you are ready.

On tipping, Italian official sources do not set a rule, and the State Department's Italy page does not give one either. Treat tipping as discretionary and check whether a service charge already appears on the bill.

Smoking rules

Italy banned smoking in enclosed public places in 2003. The Ministry of Health's page on tobacco legislation explains that Article 51 of Law 3 of 16 January 2003 prohibits smoking in all enclosed spaces open to the public, including offices, shops, bars and restaurants, with exceptions only for private spaces not open to the public and specially equipped smoking rooms. Later rules extended limits to some outdoor areas, such as cars carrying minors or pregnant women and the outdoor grounds of pediatric hospitals and some hospital wards, under Legislative Decree 6 of 2016. If you smoke, look for the signs and the designated areas.

Public holidays

Italy's national holidays shape the calendar for offices, schools and banks. The Presidency of the Council of Ministers lists the national days, set by Law 260 of 1949 and later amendments. They include:

• 1 January (New Year's Day) and 6 January (Epiphany)
• Easter Monday
• 25 April (Liberation Day)
• 1 May (Labour Day)
• 2 June (Republic Day)
• 15 August (Assumption, known as Ferragosto)
• 1 November (All Saints' Day)
• 8 December (Immaculate Conception)
• 25 and 26 December (Christmas and St. Stephen's Day)

Each town also celebrates its patron saint's day, when local offices and many shops close. Rome, for example, closes for Saints Peter and Paul on 29 June, and Milan for Saint Ambrose on 7 December. Check the current list on the Presidency's page, because holidays can be added by law.

August deserves a special note. Around Ferragosto, many family businesses, smaller shops and some offices close for a week or more. Plan bureaucracy, repairs and appointments around it.

Local laws that catch visitors

The US State Department's Italy page lists several local laws that can lead to fines for Americans:

• Buying counterfeit goods can bring fines for the buyer, not only the seller.
• Damaging historic monuments brings severe penalties.
• Several cities ban eating, drinking, sitting or bathing in or at certain fountains and monuments.
• Train, bus and metro tickets must be bought and validated where required.
• Drone use is regulated.

The State Department's general guidance on laws abroad also reminds US citizens that they are subject to local law and that penalties can be harsh, including arrest or expulsion.

Dress and behavior in churches

Churches are working places of worship. Many, including major basilicas, ask visitors to cover shoulders and knees, and guards at popular sites turn away people who do not. Keep voices low and do not visit during a service unless you are attending it.

Language as courtesy

Even a few words of Italian change how interactions go. Greeting in Italian, using Lei with strangers, and saying per favore and grazie are seen as basic manners. Many Italians in cities speak some English, but starting in Italian is courteous. Learning the language properly also matters for residence: the long-term EU residence permit requires A2 Italian, and citizenship requires B1.

General observations

People who have lived in Italy tend to describe the same patterns: daily life is organized around meals and family, small shops keep set hours with a midday break, appointments and offices run on formal courtesy, and holidays are taken seriously. None of this is unique to one region, though the rhythm is slower in smaller towns and in the south. Adjusting your schedule to local hours is the single change that makes the most difference.

Common questions

Should I use tu or Lei in Italy? Use Lei with strangers, older people, shop staff and officials. Switch to tu when the other person invites it or with friends, family and children.

Can I smoke in Italian bars and restaurants? No. Article 51 of Law 3 of 2003 bans smoking in enclosed spaces open to the public, except in specially equipped smoking rooms, according to the Ministry of Health.

What are Italy's national holidays? They include 1 and 6 January, Easter Monday, 25 April, 1 May, 2 June, 15 August, 1 November, 8 December, and 25 and 26 December, plus each town's patron saint's day.

Is tipping expected in Italy? No official Italian or US government source sets a tipping rule. Treat it as discretionary and check whether a service charge is already on the bill.

Do shops close at midday in Italy? Many small shops and some offices close for a midday break, especially outside the big city centers, and many family businesses close for part of August around Ferragosto. Large chains and supermarkets usually stay open.

Can I smoke in a car in Italy? Not with minors or pregnant women on board. Legislative Decree 6 of 2016 extended the smoking ban to cars carrying them and to the outdoor grounds of pediatric hospitals and some hospital wards.